Fic: Songs for You (Kim/Trini)
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prficathonsTitle: Songs for You
Author: Griddlebone
Written for rchan
Rating: G
Pairing: Kim/Trini
Summary: Underneath the pink paper, the label read simply Songs for You.
The first cassette came in the mail about two weeks after Trini arrived in Geneva. It was wrapped up in colorful pink paper and tucked safely into the care package along with a bunch of other goodies from home, but Trini knew from the moment she laid eyes on it that the tape was the real treasure, even better than the box of Kim's ultra fudge brownies or the thick bundle of letters tied together with a multi-colored braid of ribbons.
She sampled each of the treats Kimberly had sent and read each of the letters from start to finish (the intertwined strands of white and black, pink and yellow, and blue and red ribbons made her smile, and she was pleasantly surprised to see that even Rocky, Adam, and Aisha had sent something), but she saved the tape for last. Underneath the pink paper, the label read simply Songs for You. It had been a long day, and she was glad she'd thought to save the best for last.
When she was finally done with everything else, she popped the tape into her Walkman, turned out the lights, and stayed up way too late, lying in the dark and listening to Kimberly play the guitar, her voice alternately sultry and sweet as she sang songs of love and friendship, loneliness and heartache. Kim was a talented musician, and her songs were just what Trini needed to get through another long and lonely night far from home. And the next lonely night, and the next, and the next.
As months went by, the tapes kept coming. Not many, of course, because Kim didn't exactly have the money to send gifts to Europe every day, but once a month Trini could expect to get something in the mail from her friends back home. And there was always a tape from Kim tucked somewhere inside.
The songs recorded on those tapes were always new, and as Kimberly always self-consciously confessed at the beginning of each tape, they were for Trini's ears only. The songs changed as time went by, growing up little by little just like Kimberly, but Trini loved them all the same. Each one was like a peek into Kim's mind, a glimpse into her soul, revealed for just those few minutes. Each one helped Trini feel a little bit closer to home and the ones she loved. Each one helped her remember that she'd given all those things up for the chance to do good here.
When Trini called Kimberly a few months later to tell her that she'd been accepted into an exchange program and would be finishing high school in Europe rather than going home to Angel Grove, she thought that might be the end of it. Kimberly did not take the news well. Even through her silence Trini could tell she was furious. Heartbroken.
The click of the phone as Kimberly finally hung up rather than argue with her was the most heart-rending sound Trini had ever heard. She cried herself to sleep that night, listening to Kimberly's recorded voice sing sad, slow songs and feeling certain she had just lost her best friend, and that these few tapes were all she would have left of Kim.
But a week or two later, right on schedule, another tape showed up in the mail, in a tiny package along with a terse letter asking for her future address. I'm still mad at you, the letter said, but I love you anyway.
She sent back the information Kimberly had requested, along with an apology. And slowly but surely, things began to go back to normal. Trini went home to Angel Grove for holidays, but somehow managed to time things just badly enough to miss Kim completely, then scheduled a summer trip to France to spend a week with Kimberly and her mother. For Trini, it was that vacation in France that changed everything.
The moment she stepped off the train and caught sight of Kimberly waiting for her at the station, her heart racing with excitement and fear, was also the moment that she realized her best friend was beautiful. It was the moment she realized that her life would never really be complete again without Kimberly in it. She had the sudden urge to kiss her, on the cheek or on the lips, it didn't really matter, but she settled for a bone-crushing hug instead.
"It's been way too long," Kimberly admonished.
"It has," Trini agreed. "We should do this again. Soon."
Their time together went by far too quickly. Between shopping trips, movies, and delicious French food, the days simply flew past. And more than once Trini found herself tempted to spill her guts, but every time she chickened out at the last second. Coming right out with, "Kim, I think I might have a crush on you," was just too much of a risk. So she kept quiet and tried to simply enjoy the time they got to spend together.
They parted on good terms, and she hoped that her silly crush on Kimberly would simply fade away now that they were apart. It didn't. Instead, it seemed as if she missed Kim more and more with each day that passed.
The next time she actually spoke to Kimberly, her friend was in tears. She knew it had to be bad because Kim was calling her out of the blue, but she wasn't expecting what she had to say. "I'm leaving the team, Trini."
Unable to find a more coherent response to this sudden announcement, Trini managed, "What?"
"It happened so fast... they want me to go to Florida so I can focus more on my gymnastics training," Kim explained. She almost sounded excited through her tears.
Trini was afraid to ask who 'they' meant. "If that's what you want, then that's great," she said instead, trying to feel happy for her friend.
"Do you think I'm making a mistake?"
She didn't know. She had wondered the same thing many, many times since her own departure from the team. But in the end, she did think she'd made the right choice. Maybe it was time for Kimberly to do the same. "I don't know. I don't think so," she said. "But only time will tell."
Trini hated parting on such a melancholy note, especially since they were hardly ever able to actually call each other, so she said, "I believe in you, Kim. Whatever you choose to do, I think it'll be the right thing for you. But don't give up on your dreams just for everyone else. The rest of you were just fine after Jason, Zack, and I left."
"Yeah, but we had Rocky, Adam, and Aisha to rely on in your place."
"And I don't believe for a minute you'd even consider leaving unless you found a very capable replacement."
She could practically hear Kim smile. "You're right. As usual."
She was not sure exactly when she knew that Kimberly would not be sending her any more tapes, but she knew. It was some time after the phone call, and some time before Kimberly would have been moving to Florida. And sure enough, the next time Kimberly sent her something, it was only a small envelope with a brief letter inside.
Dear Trini,
I'm in Florida! It didn't seem like it could be real before, but it's really happening. I'm really going to be training for the Pan Globals with all the best coaches! When I finally make it to the games, do you think you can come see me compete?
All my love,
Kimberly
XOXOXO
As if there was any doubt. She was a tiny bit disappointed that there had been no tape and no new songs with the letter, but she wouldn't pass up a chance to see Kimberly for the world.
It was sunny when Trini arrived in Florida, and stiflingly hot and humid, too, but she didn't mind a bit. After all, Kimberly was waiting for her.
While she was looking forward to seeing Kim again and watching her compete, she had been secretly hoping that the things she'd felt in France were behind her now. She didn't want to come between Kimberly and Tommy, or risk her friendship with Kim over some awkward, one-sided feelings. But the moment she laid eyes on her friend, it all came rushing back. All those giddy, almost romantic feelings were as strong as ever.
Kimberly raced over to throw her arms around Trini, who felt so overwhelmed by excitement that she seemed to have forgotten how to walk, or even how to think coherently. "Kim!" she finally managed to say. "How've you been?"
"I can't believe you're here!" Kim gushed. "I've got so much to show you!"
Instead of taking Trini straight to the hotel where she was staying, Kimberly took her back to the gymnastics training facility to show her around.
"You're competing in just a few days, are you sure you have time?"
"I always have time for you, Trini." At Trini's stern look, she laughed and added, "This is my last day off before the competition."
Trini was flattered that Kim had chosen to spend her last day off with her, so she didn't argue. They stashed Trini's bags in Kim's dorm and toured the whole building, with Kim excitedly pointing out her favorite people and features, before winding up back in Kim's room with an hour to kill before dinner. By that time, Trini couldn't take the suspense anymore. She had to ask.
"So, how are you feeling? About leaving Angel Grove, I mean."
Kim sighed. "It was pretty rough at first, but I think I'm getting used to it. I don't think some things ever get any easier, though."
A few minutes ago, she would have thought Kim was exaggerating. But now that she was sitting next to Kim in a dorm room that was surprisingly, she might even say distressingly, lacking in pink accessories, she could believe her friend was having a rough time.
"But I think you were right," Kim said at last, before Trini could think of something to say. "I was never going to know if it was the right thing to do if I didn't go for it. And now I know."
"And?"
"It was. I needed to get away from Tommy and the others, no matter how much I love them. I was letting them define me... I was letting him define me. And that's not who I am," she admitted. "I'm more than just Tommy's girlfriend, the Pink Ranger, you know?"
Trini nodded. She knew that feeling well; it was Kimberly's tapes - Kimberly's songs - that had helped her get through the loss of her Power and move on to find her own identity after leaving the Power Ranger team. It had been Kimberly that had, however inadvertently, helped Trini decide to stay in Europe to continue her education because that was what she, and not anybody else, wanted. "I'm here if you need to talk," she promised. "No matter what."
"Leaving wasn't enough. It didn't change the way I felt, so I broke up with him," Kimberly confessed, her voice becoming so quiet that at first Trini thought she must have heard wrong. "I sent Tommy a letter and I told him there was someone else."
"Kim..."
"There wasn't. It was a lie." Trini knew she should say something, but she had no idea what that something might be. She was at a total loss. She had never expected something like that from Kimberly. Finally, Kim looked up at her and went on, "But I felt better after I'd done it. And... I was kind of hoping there might be someone else in my near future."
"Oh, Kim," Trini murmured, feeling her heart break in sympathy for her friend.
"It took me a long time, but once I got here I realized there was someone I missed a lot more than Tommy," Kim said, cheeks coloring. "Someone I wanted to be with more than I wanted to be with him."
Trini said nothing and tried to ignore the way her heart suddenly began to race.
"I've missed you, Trini," Kimberly went on. "I was kind of hoping that... maybe you don't think I'm totally weird? But when we were together in France, it was like everything in my life was right again. I thought I'd spend the whole trip worrying about everyone back home, but I didn't. I think that's kind of what got me thinking that it might be time for me to pass the torch on to someone else, the way you did with Aisha."
Trini didn't think she was weird at all. In fact, these were the very things she had not even dared to dream that Kimberly would ever say to her. She was gripped by the sudden fear that she might be reading too much into the things Kim was saying, that she might be hearing only what she wanted to hear. "And that's why you came here," she said to fill the silence.
"Actually," Kimberly trailed off. "I came because a good friend told me I shouldn't let fear stop me from reaching my goals."
"That's good advice," Trini murmured.
"But it's still scary," Kimberly countered. "I could still fail."
"I'm sure that whatever you decide to do, you'll succeed," Trini assured her.
"Well, it doesn't just depend on me."
Trini had no answer for that.
"Oh, I'm not good at this," Kimberly burst out. Trini glanced at her in alarm, brows furrowing. "I'm not used to being the one doing the asking," Kim went on. "But Trini, I was kind of... well, I was hoping that..." she trailed off, blushing sweetly. "I know I've dated lots of boys before, and never any girls, but..."
Smiling with a confidence she wasn't sure she really felt, Trini asked, "Kim, are you saying you were hoping your 'someone else' would be me?"
Kimberly ducked her head. "I knew you'd think it was totally weird..."
"I thought you'd never ask!"
Kim stared at her. "You mean you..."
She nodded, not sure what to say. She wasn't entirely sure when her feelings for Kimberly had changed from friendship into something more. Maybe it was the vacation in France, that was the most obvious moment she could remember. Maybe it was all those tapes Kim had sent, the emotional songs that just seemed to call to Trini's heart. Maybe it had been there all along, and she just hadn't known what it was yet.
"So, um, is that a yes? Can we maybe go out sometime? I'm not really sure how this works, but I'm willing to try -"
Trini cut her off with a kiss that was a little awkward at first, since she had taken Kim totally by surprise, but turned out to be pretty sweet. Granted, some of that might have been Kimberly's sugary lip gloss, but she was pretty sure the rest of it was all Kim.
When she pulled away, she was sure her cheeks couldn't get any redder.
Then Kimberly proved her wrong. "Oh, Kat was so right. It's definitely better not to let fear stop you from going after your dreams."
"I can't believe I just did that," Trini murmured.
Kim looked suddenly worried. "Did you... not like it?"
And then it was Trini's turn to prove her wrong. When she kissed Kimberly this time, it wasn't nearly as awkward as the first time, but it was every bit as sweet.
And this time when she pulled back she noticed something over Kimberly's shoulder, something leaning against the room's tiny desk. "You brought your guitar with you for gymnastics training?"
Kim grinned. "Hey, I've gotta have something to do when I'm not training."
Trini had to laugh. Even when she was supposedly focusing entirely on her gymnastics, Kim couldn't seem to help going above and beyond. "So how come I didn't get a tape last time you wrote?"
Her eyes sparkling mischievously, Kimberly said, "I haven't had time to record anything, with the move and my new practice schedule and everything! But I've been working on a couple new songs for you... wanna hear them?"
She didn't have to ask twice.
Author: Griddlebone
Written for rchan
Rating: G
Pairing: Kim/Trini
Summary: Underneath the pink paper, the label read simply Songs for You.
The first cassette came in the mail about two weeks after Trini arrived in Geneva. It was wrapped up in colorful pink paper and tucked safely into the care package along with a bunch of other goodies from home, but Trini knew from the moment she laid eyes on it that the tape was the real treasure, even better than the box of Kim's ultra fudge brownies or the thick bundle of letters tied together with a multi-colored braid of ribbons.
She sampled each of the treats Kimberly had sent and read each of the letters from start to finish (the intertwined strands of white and black, pink and yellow, and blue and red ribbons made her smile, and she was pleasantly surprised to see that even Rocky, Adam, and Aisha had sent something), but she saved the tape for last. Underneath the pink paper, the label read simply Songs for You. It had been a long day, and she was glad she'd thought to save the best for last.
When she was finally done with everything else, she popped the tape into her Walkman, turned out the lights, and stayed up way too late, lying in the dark and listening to Kimberly play the guitar, her voice alternately sultry and sweet as she sang songs of love and friendship, loneliness and heartache. Kim was a talented musician, and her songs were just what Trini needed to get through another long and lonely night far from home. And the next lonely night, and the next, and the next.
As months went by, the tapes kept coming. Not many, of course, because Kim didn't exactly have the money to send gifts to Europe every day, but once a month Trini could expect to get something in the mail from her friends back home. And there was always a tape from Kim tucked somewhere inside.
The songs recorded on those tapes were always new, and as Kimberly always self-consciously confessed at the beginning of each tape, they were for Trini's ears only. The songs changed as time went by, growing up little by little just like Kimberly, but Trini loved them all the same. Each one was like a peek into Kim's mind, a glimpse into her soul, revealed for just those few minutes. Each one helped Trini feel a little bit closer to home and the ones she loved. Each one helped her remember that she'd given all those things up for the chance to do good here.
When Trini called Kimberly a few months later to tell her that she'd been accepted into an exchange program and would be finishing high school in Europe rather than going home to Angel Grove, she thought that might be the end of it. Kimberly did not take the news well. Even through her silence Trini could tell she was furious. Heartbroken.
The click of the phone as Kimberly finally hung up rather than argue with her was the most heart-rending sound Trini had ever heard. She cried herself to sleep that night, listening to Kimberly's recorded voice sing sad, slow songs and feeling certain she had just lost her best friend, and that these few tapes were all she would have left of Kim.
But a week or two later, right on schedule, another tape showed up in the mail, in a tiny package along with a terse letter asking for her future address. I'm still mad at you, the letter said, but I love you anyway.
She sent back the information Kimberly had requested, along with an apology. And slowly but surely, things began to go back to normal. Trini went home to Angel Grove for holidays, but somehow managed to time things just badly enough to miss Kim completely, then scheduled a summer trip to France to spend a week with Kimberly and her mother. For Trini, it was that vacation in France that changed everything.
The moment she stepped off the train and caught sight of Kimberly waiting for her at the station, her heart racing with excitement and fear, was also the moment that she realized her best friend was beautiful. It was the moment she realized that her life would never really be complete again without Kimberly in it. She had the sudden urge to kiss her, on the cheek or on the lips, it didn't really matter, but she settled for a bone-crushing hug instead.
"It's been way too long," Kimberly admonished.
"It has," Trini agreed. "We should do this again. Soon."
Their time together went by far too quickly. Between shopping trips, movies, and delicious French food, the days simply flew past. And more than once Trini found herself tempted to spill her guts, but every time she chickened out at the last second. Coming right out with, "Kim, I think I might have a crush on you," was just too much of a risk. So she kept quiet and tried to simply enjoy the time they got to spend together.
They parted on good terms, and she hoped that her silly crush on Kimberly would simply fade away now that they were apart. It didn't. Instead, it seemed as if she missed Kim more and more with each day that passed.
The next time she actually spoke to Kimberly, her friend was in tears. She knew it had to be bad because Kim was calling her out of the blue, but she wasn't expecting what she had to say. "I'm leaving the team, Trini."
Unable to find a more coherent response to this sudden announcement, Trini managed, "What?"
"It happened so fast... they want me to go to Florida so I can focus more on my gymnastics training," Kim explained. She almost sounded excited through her tears.
Trini was afraid to ask who 'they' meant. "If that's what you want, then that's great," she said instead, trying to feel happy for her friend.
"Do you think I'm making a mistake?"
She didn't know. She had wondered the same thing many, many times since her own departure from the team. But in the end, she did think she'd made the right choice. Maybe it was time for Kimberly to do the same. "I don't know. I don't think so," she said. "But only time will tell."
Trini hated parting on such a melancholy note, especially since they were hardly ever able to actually call each other, so she said, "I believe in you, Kim. Whatever you choose to do, I think it'll be the right thing for you. But don't give up on your dreams just for everyone else. The rest of you were just fine after Jason, Zack, and I left."
"Yeah, but we had Rocky, Adam, and Aisha to rely on in your place."
"And I don't believe for a minute you'd even consider leaving unless you found a very capable replacement."
She could practically hear Kim smile. "You're right. As usual."
She was not sure exactly when she knew that Kimberly would not be sending her any more tapes, but she knew. It was some time after the phone call, and some time before Kimberly would have been moving to Florida. And sure enough, the next time Kimberly sent her something, it was only a small envelope with a brief letter inside.
Dear Trini,
I'm in Florida! It didn't seem like it could be real before, but it's really happening. I'm really going to be training for the Pan Globals with all the best coaches! When I finally make it to the games, do you think you can come see me compete?
All my love,
Kimberly
XOXOXO
As if there was any doubt. She was a tiny bit disappointed that there had been no tape and no new songs with the letter, but she wouldn't pass up a chance to see Kimberly for the world.
It was sunny when Trini arrived in Florida, and stiflingly hot and humid, too, but she didn't mind a bit. After all, Kimberly was waiting for her.
While she was looking forward to seeing Kim again and watching her compete, she had been secretly hoping that the things she'd felt in France were behind her now. She didn't want to come between Kimberly and Tommy, or risk her friendship with Kim over some awkward, one-sided feelings. But the moment she laid eyes on her friend, it all came rushing back. All those giddy, almost romantic feelings were as strong as ever.
Kimberly raced over to throw her arms around Trini, who felt so overwhelmed by excitement that she seemed to have forgotten how to walk, or even how to think coherently. "Kim!" she finally managed to say. "How've you been?"
"I can't believe you're here!" Kim gushed. "I've got so much to show you!"
Instead of taking Trini straight to the hotel where she was staying, Kimberly took her back to the gymnastics training facility to show her around.
"You're competing in just a few days, are you sure you have time?"
"I always have time for you, Trini." At Trini's stern look, she laughed and added, "This is my last day off before the competition."
Trini was flattered that Kim had chosen to spend her last day off with her, so she didn't argue. They stashed Trini's bags in Kim's dorm and toured the whole building, with Kim excitedly pointing out her favorite people and features, before winding up back in Kim's room with an hour to kill before dinner. By that time, Trini couldn't take the suspense anymore. She had to ask.
"So, how are you feeling? About leaving Angel Grove, I mean."
Kim sighed. "It was pretty rough at first, but I think I'm getting used to it. I don't think some things ever get any easier, though."
A few minutes ago, she would have thought Kim was exaggerating. But now that she was sitting next to Kim in a dorm room that was surprisingly, she might even say distressingly, lacking in pink accessories, she could believe her friend was having a rough time.
"But I think you were right," Kim said at last, before Trini could think of something to say. "I was never going to know if it was the right thing to do if I didn't go for it. And now I know."
"And?"
"It was. I needed to get away from Tommy and the others, no matter how much I love them. I was letting them define me... I was letting him define me. And that's not who I am," she admitted. "I'm more than just Tommy's girlfriend, the Pink Ranger, you know?"
Trini nodded. She knew that feeling well; it was Kimberly's tapes - Kimberly's songs - that had helped her get through the loss of her Power and move on to find her own identity after leaving the Power Ranger team. It had been Kimberly that had, however inadvertently, helped Trini decide to stay in Europe to continue her education because that was what she, and not anybody else, wanted. "I'm here if you need to talk," she promised. "No matter what."
"Leaving wasn't enough. It didn't change the way I felt, so I broke up with him," Kimberly confessed, her voice becoming so quiet that at first Trini thought she must have heard wrong. "I sent Tommy a letter and I told him there was someone else."
"Kim..."
"There wasn't. It was a lie." Trini knew she should say something, but she had no idea what that something might be. She was at a total loss. She had never expected something like that from Kimberly. Finally, Kim looked up at her and went on, "But I felt better after I'd done it. And... I was kind of hoping there might be someone else in my near future."
"Oh, Kim," Trini murmured, feeling her heart break in sympathy for her friend.
"It took me a long time, but once I got here I realized there was someone I missed a lot more than Tommy," Kim said, cheeks coloring. "Someone I wanted to be with more than I wanted to be with him."
Trini said nothing and tried to ignore the way her heart suddenly began to race.
"I've missed you, Trini," Kimberly went on. "I was kind of hoping that... maybe you don't think I'm totally weird? But when we were together in France, it was like everything in my life was right again. I thought I'd spend the whole trip worrying about everyone back home, but I didn't. I think that's kind of what got me thinking that it might be time for me to pass the torch on to someone else, the way you did with Aisha."
Trini didn't think she was weird at all. In fact, these were the very things she had not even dared to dream that Kimberly would ever say to her. She was gripped by the sudden fear that she might be reading too much into the things Kim was saying, that she might be hearing only what she wanted to hear. "And that's why you came here," she said to fill the silence.
"Actually," Kimberly trailed off. "I came because a good friend told me I shouldn't let fear stop me from reaching my goals."
"That's good advice," Trini murmured.
"But it's still scary," Kimberly countered. "I could still fail."
"I'm sure that whatever you decide to do, you'll succeed," Trini assured her.
"Well, it doesn't just depend on me."
Trini had no answer for that.
"Oh, I'm not good at this," Kimberly burst out. Trini glanced at her in alarm, brows furrowing. "I'm not used to being the one doing the asking," Kim went on. "But Trini, I was kind of... well, I was hoping that..." she trailed off, blushing sweetly. "I know I've dated lots of boys before, and never any girls, but..."
Smiling with a confidence she wasn't sure she really felt, Trini asked, "Kim, are you saying you were hoping your 'someone else' would be me?"
Kimberly ducked her head. "I knew you'd think it was totally weird..."
"I thought you'd never ask!"
Kim stared at her. "You mean you..."
She nodded, not sure what to say. She wasn't entirely sure when her feelings for Kimberly had changed from friendship into something more. Maybe it was the vacation in France, that was the most obvious moment she could remember. Maybe it was all those tapes Kim had sent, the emotional songs that just seemed to call to Trini's heart. Maybe it had been there all along, and she just hadn't known what it was yet.
"So, um, is that a yes? Can we maybe go out sometime? I'm not really sure how this works, but I'm willing to try -"
Trini cut her off with a kiss that was a little awkward at first, since she had taken Kim totally by surprise, but turned out to be pretty sweet. Granted, some of that might have been Kimberly's sugary lip gloss, but she was pretty sure the rest of it was all Kim.
When she pulled away, she was sure her cheeks couldn't get any redder.
Then Kimberly proved her wrong. "Oh, Kat was so right. It's definitely better not to let fear stop you from going after your dreams."
"I can't believe I just did that," Trini murmured.
Kim looked suddenly worried. "Did you... not like it?"
And then it was Trini's turn to prove her wrong. When she kissed Kimberly this time, it wasn't nearly as awkward as the first time, but it was every bit as sweet.
And this time when she pulled back she noticed something over Kimberly's shoulder, something leaning against the room's tiny desk. "You brought your guitar with you for gymnastics training?"
Kim grinned. "Hey, I've gotta have something to do when I'm not training."
Trini had to laugh. Even when she was supposedly focusing entirely on her gymnastics, Kim couldn't seem to help going above and beyond. "So how come I didn't get a tape last time you wrote?"
Her eyes sparkling mischievously, Kimberly said, "I haven't had time to record anything, with the move and my new practice schedule and everything! But I've been working on a couple new songs for you... wanna hear them?"
She didn't have to ask twice.
(no subject)
Date: 2012-10-25 02:49 am (UTC)